Sunday, September 27, 2015

20 Signs You're a Parent

Parenthood!  It’s a big lifetime change. Before you had kids, you might have enjoyed sleeping in and watching a little more reality television than you should. But now, things are different. Here are 20 signs you’re a parent (especially a parent with younger children):

1. You say to your significant other (feeling pretty bad ass),  I can’t believe we stayed out so late!(it’s 10:00 o'clock …..okay it’s 9:00 o’clock).
2. When you reach for the keys in your purse/diaper bag/pocket, you often also pull out some cracker crumbs, a Lego, and a Bandaid.  
3. You get excited to go get the mail, take out the trash, etc, because hey it’s alone time. 
4. You’ve had a conversation about poop or pee in the last hour. No, you’ve had three conversations about poop or pee in the last hour. 
5. Going to the grocery store feels like a mini-vacation.
6. Going to Target feels like a mini-vacation.
7. Going just about anywhere by yourself feel like a mini-vacation….now what’s this I hear about something called a kid-free weekend? 
8. You woke up past 8:00 am and no one else was up yet!  You looked around to see if there were any unicorns or flying pigs in the room.
Tweet this: Woke up past 8 am and my kids weren't up! I looked to see if there were any unicorns or flying pigs in the room too.
9. Your dinner often consists of someone wanting the food off your plate, someone else complaining ‘I don’t like this’, and maybe a third child trying to slip some peas to the family dog.
10. When you’re at the grocery store with your threenager,  you say a prayer for a tantrum-free shopping experience.
11. You stay up way too late every night and every morning you say I’m not going to do that again. You go through a lot of coffee. 
12. You find yourself humming the tunes of your kids’ favorite television programs, even the ones that you hate.
13. You can never seem to get the laundry completely done.
14. You’re amazed at how much room a toddler can take up in a king bed and how their feet always end up in your face.
15. You’ve signed more documents (for school, daycare, sports, bounce houses, etc) than the president has for his entire term. 
16. When your house is quiet (and your kids are home), you automatically assume something is wrong.
17. You sometimes play hide and seek just so you can have a few minutes of me time, or scarf down the last cookie without having to share. 
18. You can’t believe how much time you spend cleaning stuff off your walls. Before having kids, you hardly ever had to do this.  
19. You’ve held your pee or sat in an uncomfortable position because your baby/toddler fell asleep on you. You wouldn’t dare chance waking him or her up.  
20. You have a sign over your doorbell that says baby sleeping….your child is five but you just kept it up there because it sounds better than a ‘No solicitors’ sign…..if you’ve never done that, it’s a good idea huh?

I hope you could relate to some of these!  Anything else you want to add?

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