Tuesday, June 24, 2014

How to Tell You’re No Longer a Rookie Parent

With a 6 year old and a two and a half year old, I’m not a veteran parent. However, I’m pretty sure I’ve moved out of the rookie stage. This doesn’t mean all of the pieces have fallen into place or that I’ve suddenly achieved perfect parent status.  Yet,  there comes a time in your journey through parenthood when you finally feel like, Hey I’ve got this….at least until you reach the teenage years.  Here are a few ways you can tell you’re not a rookie parent anymore.

You Can Handle the Dreaded Stomach Bug: If you have kids, at one time or another, it’s likely your children will catch a stomach bug.  The first time it happens, you might cringe when you see the barf.  You might want to close your eyes and hope it’s just a dream.  But it’s not.  A veteran parent is so used to the norovirus, rotavirus, or the too-much-dairy upheaval, that he/she takes it in stride.  This doesn’t mean I don’t immediately wash all of our sheets and clothing in scalding water and spray every bathroom fixture down with bleach.  However, I do it with a Mary Poppins-esque ease.

You Don’t Care What People Think: When you are out in public with your kids, there is always going to be someone who gives you “the look” of disapproval.  It might be because your baby’s sock fell off in the 80 degree weather (Oh, aren’t his feet cold?) or your child is throwing a tantrum in aisle seven at the grocery store.  As for unsolicited parenting advice, I just smile, nod and keep walking.

You Can Multi-task Like No Other: My life is about multitasking….except when I drive.  Doing squats while I brush my teeth.   Walking on the treadmill while I watch television.  Pulling weeds while my kids play in the backyard.  Soothing my toddler while I throw in a load of laundry.  And, at the end of the day when the air is still and my house is finally quiet, I feel good knowing I’ve checked off 75 percent, okay 50 percent, of the things on my to do list.

You’ve Chilled Out a Little: I’m pretty uptight when it comes to the food my kids eat.  I still worry when my kids have a high fever.  However, I’ve stopped sweating the small stuff.  For instance, I realize my kids are going to get scratches and bruises.  Sometimes, toddlers drop food and then eat it off the ground.  I’m not going to pretend this doesn’t bother me but I’ve definitely chilled out a little.  Likewise, I’ve learned what battles to fight with my kids and if I’m feeling stressed out I know an extra 24 minutes of "Care Bears" (We have Netflix)  isn’t going to make their brains turn into mush.

Did I miss anything?

Check back with me in about 10 years when I’ve got two teenagers and I may be right back at rookie mom status.  Until then…..


  Matters © 2012 

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Running Errands Without Children

I’m so used to running errands with my kids in tow that I feel odd when they are not with me.   After a short trip to San Diego (with my hubby, two kids and two pooches) my car smelled like a wet dog and the floor was dotted with tiny grains of sand.  Thus, I took a solo trip to the car wash.  


After barely making it for the early bird car wash, I walked in, paid and then walked along the long corridor to the waiting area.  Along the way, I paused and looked out the windows at the cars being sudsed up and dried with giant looking hair dryers.  If my kids were there, they would have had their faces pressed against the glass watching the cars get washed.  Yet, they weren’t.  So, I went outside and sat down.


 I’m not used to sitting down….at least not for more than a few minutes.  I actually found myself getting bored.  Then, I watched a mother come out of the door with her three children looking frustrated.  (I know that look because I’m sure I look frustrated when my kids are being problematic).  Her kids looked happy enough but they were climbing on her and being squirrely.  She definitely hadn’t had time to sit down in a chair and watch her car being towel cleaned and dried.   Before going to claim her car, the mom even said, “I’m so frustrated!” to another patron closest to her.  As a mom, I could sympathize with her.


After my car was ready, I went to the grocery store.  Typically, I’m with my toddler son at the store.  I try to grab as much as I can before he wants to start tearing into the box of fruit snacks, get out of the cart to walk around aimlessly or throw some sort of tantrum.  Actually, he’s normally pretty well-behaved.  However, before I go shopping,  I have to be armed with a snack and a game plan ( in other words, know exactly what I want).  There isn’t any time to meander and look at essential oils, lotion or those pastries I know I shouldn’t buy.  It's rushed. When I run errands by myself, I take my time, picking out the perfect apples.


While I was running errands by myself, I couldn’t help but notice all the other parents there with their children.  One kid was hanging out of the big part of the basket.  Some were crying. Other parents were juggling two or three kids.   I remember that time, when both of my kids were home all day and I would put my son in his baby bjorn and buckle my daughter into the front basket of the grocery cart.  When they were both a little, I loved those carts with the two seat attached to the back.  As cumbersome as it was, my kids felt like they were on a roller coaster.  It made my errands so much easier.  

In a few years, my kids will both be in school for the majority of the day.  I imagine I’ll have a lot more time to run errands by myself.  Part of me is looking forward to it.  The other part of me will miss the juggling act.
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Monday, June 16, 2014

Wading


When I was about 16, we took a family trip to Hawaii. In Waikiki, the water was warm and shallow; I felt as if I could wade for miles through the clear water. It was then that I cut my ankle on some coral reef. Now, in my mid-30s, I still have a few faint scars on my ankle. The scars are a reminder of the fun I had that day but also remind me that even wonderful things have their drawbacks.

Motherhood is often like wading through unknown waters. You don’t always know what lies beneath the surface, however you keep going. One day, the water may be clear and warm. Other days, it may be frigid and rough. And, sometimes, you may get hurt or even scarred from a bad parenting experience.


Living in Southern California, I’m often wading through the shallows at the beach. My daughter is getting older and venturing out further into the ocean. My toddler son, still timid,  likes to splash in the wet, muddy sand. I love experiencing all these firsts with them. As I “wade” through motherhood with my children by my side, I realize there will be highs with the lows, just like the rise and fall of the tides.




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Sunday, June 15, 2014

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