How to Prevent Your Kids From Having a Holiday Meltdown

During the holidays, my family and I often travel more. The kids might get to stay up a little bit later. Of course, there are more sweets, more chaos, and an overall less predictable schedule. This can all lead to tired and cranky kids. The good news is that the holidays don't have to be stressful. Here are a few steps I take to prevent my kids from having a holiday meltdown.

Set a Precedent

At our house, we have never bought expensive gifts for my kids on Christmas. Thus, they are pretty happy with whatever they get. As kids get older, sometimes their expectations get higher. Setting a strong precedent of "less is more" is important to keep everyone merry. Even better, make generosity and giving the themes of the season.

Be Clear

Your 8-year-old might want an iPhone. However, this doesn't mean he or she will be getting one. If you know your child is wishing for a certain big-ticket item for Christmas, it is best to set the record straight before the big day.

Don't Overschedule

The amount of holiday activities available is neverending. Parties, tree lightings, church services, school plays, and shopping can quickly overwhelm your calendar. It's OK if you don't go to every festivity. We have had times where my daughter was invited to a party almost every weekend. Sometimes, we just had to say no.

Keep Shopping With the Kids to a Minimum

Sometimes it's better to shop online than to drag your kids from store to store. Bringing your toddler to Black Friday, last-minute Christmas Eve shopping, and the "After-Christmas" sale is just asking for it. I do a lot of my holiday shopping online. This is more convenient for everyone.

Eat Healthy

Left to her own devices, my kids would probably eat cake pops and apple pie for dinner. It's especially hard when we go to someone else's house and there are more sweets than real food. It's fine for kids to indulge a bit. However, I always make sure my kids eat a good meal first. Too much sugar in an empty stomach can lead to upset tummies.

Do Something Unexpected

I like having traditions. For instance, every year we walk or drive to the same street to see Christmas lights. I also like doing something unexpected for my kids. A surprise trip to the zoo or a beach trip makes everyone in our family happy.

Be Flexible

In my family, most of the cousins are six and under.  In addition, most of us live far apart. This means we all need to be flexible. Christmas can't be at 5 o'clock sharp. Any time you travel with young kids, there needs to be time allocated for bathroom and snack breaks. Personally, I would rather have a holiday car trip take a little longer than have my kids upset by the time we reach our destination.

Kids can be unpredictable. I can't promise your child won't have a meltdown in the candy aisle of the grocery store (Did I mention you should avoid that during the holidays?). However, I hope these tips help.

How do you prevent holiday meltdowns?

Photo credit: Morguefile: greyerbaby

20 Reasons You Might be Tired Today: The Parenting Edition

I’ve come to realize that I’m not one of the parents that can run on five or less hours of sleep. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve done it, plenty of times but I’m not happy about it. I’m cranky. Lethargic.  And, you better not take the last cookie or you’ll be on my list (yes, I’m talking to the hubby here). As I inch closer to 40, I’m a little more tired or perhaps my kids are simply wearing me out.  As much as I try not to stay up too late, those days of 8 hours of sleep are far and few between.  Here are 20 reasons you might be tired today. 

1. You have a newborn baby (enough said)

2. Your child is going through an I’m scared stage.  Monsters under the bed? Spooky sounds?  Even a teddy bear can cast a scary shadow on the wall.   (Daniel Tiger says..See what it is, you might feel better!)

3. Your co-sleeping child (or little one who crept into your bed in the middle of the night) kicked you in the face, more than once. I’m always amazed how a tiny body can take up so much room in a king bed. 

4. Your entire house was hit with the dreaded norovirus/rotovirus (who cares they’re both horrible).

5. Some stupid singing toy or doll was going off in the middle of the night. When I was a child, I loved talking dolls, but now they just scare me. I'm always amazed how some of these talking dolls do not have on and off buttons.  

6. You forgot about the bake sale fundraiser for your child’s basketball team tomorrow.  You spend some time debating whether or not to go to the store and buy some cookies or be even more tired and make some goodies from scratch.  

7. You decided to stay up to catch up on the last two episodes of _________! Right now, for me, it’s Season 9 of 'Criminal Minds'.

8. You were blogging/reading parenting blogs/commenting on parenting blogs/on social media posting pictures of your children.

9. Your boobs are leaking! Again. You need thicker nursing pads.

10. The dog barked, woke up the baby, who woke up your other child/ren and it took a long time to get everyone back to bed.

11. Your baby decided to get up, and stay up at 3:00 am.  Your toddler decided to get up at 4:00 am and so on and so forth.

12. You went out and tried to live it up like you did in college.  Staying out until 2 am really hurts in the morning. 

13. Your boss needs you to come in early to have a meeting about the meeting.  (No joke, I have had more than one of these)! 

14. Your child had a sport’s tournament all weekend long, three hours away, the last game ended at 6 pm. You can't believe you're paying money to do this. 

15.  You were reading a book about how to get your baby to sleep through the night.  Well, that's ironic!

16.   Someone wet the bed.  Oh, where or where did those piddle pads go?  Oh where or where could they be?

17.  You're enjoying the silence, alone time, too much to go to sleep.  You say you'll go to bed earlier tomorrow…but you know you won't.

18.  You're determined to have a laundry hamper free of dirty clothes.  At midnight, you realize the pile of clothes is going to win, yet again.  

19.  You're attempting to purge your kids old toys and baby clothes.  Every time you hold up a different article of clothing, you reminisce about what your child did in that onesie.  You're not sure if you can give these memories away. 

20.  You're out of coffee, or just didn't have time to drink it yet.

Why are you tired today?  

I Will Never Leave You

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.” - Winnie the Pooh

I made my daughter cry last week. 

We were at the park for some after-school play time.

She was playing with her friends when my son decided he wanted a drink.  Being the toddler that he is, he jumped up and made a beeline for the drinking fountain.  Before bolting after him, I looked and saw my daughter happily chatting with her friend in the “sand box.”

Moments later, after my son got a drink, we came back to the play area.   

It was then that I saw my daughter standing in the middle of the sand area crying.

I thought she was hurt or someone had upset her.  How did I miss that….I was right there!

What’s wrong?  I asked her. 

I thought you left…….my friend told me you went home. Her lip quivered. 

Then, I realized it was me that had upset her.  

Oh sweetie, of course not….I would never leave you….I will never leave you!  I told her.

I had been only a dozen yards away but she couldn’t see me at the drinking fountain.   Of course, hearing her friend say ‘They left’ probably added to her feelings of fear.  

I felt horrible that my daughter, even though momentarily, had felt abandoned, scared, alone.  

Typically, she is so wrapped up with her friends that she hardly even looks to see where I’m at….even though I’m always watching her.   However, maybe she IS looking at me….at least sometimes.  Just as I watch her to make sure she is safe and making good choices, I realize she's probably scanning the crowd for me to make her feel safe and loved. I now know my presence at the park is comforting to her.  

As our children get older, we want to give them space and independence.

However, I’m starting to realize that older children need their parents just as much as younger children. 

They may not need us to help them get dressed or brush their teeth.  However, they need us for guidance.  They need us to be there when they feel sad or hurt.   When they are playing in a soccer game, they need to be able to look into the crowd, make eye contact with us, and see us smile.  When they are teens, they need us...even when they think they don’t.  

I'm also realizing that, once kids go to school, time seems to start flying by. It's hard to say goodbye to the baby years. It's hard to let go a little. And, there's a fine line between supervising our kids and smothering them.  

My daughter’s growing up rapidly before my eyes.   

Yet, she’s still very much my little girl.  

I know I can't be there every second of the day. Hopefully, my love and my words will stick with her when I'm not around.  

Do you think older children need their parents just as much as younger children do? 

 

One Size Doesn't Fit All

Every child is a different kind of flower, and all together, they make this world a beautiful garden ~ Author Unknown

These days, I seldom make it to a store to try on clothing.  I mean, if I brought my almost three-year-old shopping with me,  I’d probably end up running out of the dressing room naked to try to catch the little escape artist.   So, that means, if I need a new shirt, I shop online. 

The last time I purchased a shirt, it was from a brand that sold one size fits all items.  That’s really funny to me because, everyone knows that’s not possible, unless you’re a character in "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants".  

However, I really wanted this shirt so I went for it.  A few weeks later,  when it showed up at my doorstep, I was happy that the shirt did fit me.  Still, it was a little tight for my liking and emphasized my muffin top a wee bit too much.  

The idea of ‘one size fits all’ is silly.  There isn’t one shirt out there that will fit everyone in the world, at least not how we want it to fit.  

This got me to thinking about how sometimes I try to fit my kids into a one size fits all category.   In fact, I’ve caught myself saying, ‘Why doesn’t my son like the zip line swing at the gym…..my daughter loved it.”

And then I stop myself because what I’m saying…...it’s ridiculous. 

After all, there isn’t a “one size fits all” manual for each child.

We can’t always use the same discipline method for each child.  What works for one may not work for another. 

We can’t make our kids fit into a specified learning style.   One may be a tactile learner while another may be a visual one. 

And, we can’t stuff them into football jerseys and assume they will become football players.  

Most importantly, we can’t  assign a checklist to our children, a list of personality characteristics and achievements, that they should possess or meet.

If we did these things, we would strip them of the characteristics that makes them unique. 

When I catch myself questioning why my kids do this or that, I will remind myself of a poster I saw that said “No Two Flowers Bloom in Exactly The Same Way” because children grow, develop, and love in all different ways.  Indeed, nature can be cruel but it also teaches us plenty of life lessons.  

In order to help children bloom, we must be willing to adjust our discipline methods and the way we teach. 

We need to support their choices (even though sometimes we have to say no).

But most of all we can love and encourage them, because, like the sunshine and water that flowers need to grow, these methods will help our children develop and thrive, in their own way. 

As for now, I’m think I’m done with shopping for clothing that only has one size….it’s just not natural.

15 Reasons my Toddler Might be Mad at Me Today

You’re having a great day with your toddler. Suddenly, he or she becomes angry. You’ve done something tantrum worthy. Now, your toddler is crying, screaming, or both. People are staring and a stranger might even say, “Why is s/he crying?” Well, I’ll tell you.  There are a lot of reasons my toddler might be mad at me today.  Some of the reasons might make sense and others might be downright baffling.  

1. I wouldn’t let you eat the entire bottle of toothpaste.

Yes honey, I know that grape-flavored toothpaste tastes oh so yummy. However, even though it’s just training toothpaste, I’m pretty sure consuming an entire bottle wouldn’t be very good for your tummy.  

2. I gave you the red cup.

I gave you the red cup but you really wanted the green cup because water tastes so much better out of the green cup. Did that make sense? It didn't to me but it’s part of toddler language 101. 

3. I wouldn’t let you run into the street.  

I understand that you want to get to the park. Still, we need to wait for the little blue man to tell us we can walk.  

4. We had to leave the park.

I enjoy being at the park too.  There is plenty of space. We meet friends there and the birds eat up all of your cracker crumbs. Yet, there comes a time, when we have to go home, have lunch, and pick up your sister from school.  She will want to go to the park too so you know, we’ll just end up back here again in  a few hours. Don't look at me like that. 

5. I made you put on clothes.

I’m sorry you wanted to run around naked all day, but we needed to go to the store. You’re lucky you live in Southern California.  However, it’s still almost winter and getting a bit chilly out there. 

6. I wouldn’t let you dump a mountain of parmesan cheese on your spaghetti/pizza/ whatever!

Not only does parmesan cheese have an uncanny ability to settle into nooks and crannies, but a big mouthful could make you choke.  

7. I’m trying to make a phone call.  You want to talk too.

I know that my conversation with the air conditioner repair man sounds riveting. I can assure you it’s not. If a telemarketer calls, I’ll be happy to let you talk.

8. Your fruit snacks fell on the ground in a sticky puddle of something at the mall.  You want to eat them.  

Yes, you may believe in the five second rule, but I don’t, especially not at the mall. 

9. You want to use the toilet at the same time I’m using it. 

I know I’m trying to encourage you to potty train but I’m not going to get off the toilet mid-stream. That could be messy.  

10 . There weren’t any car shopping carts at the grocery store.

I realize it’s fun to pretend like you are driving but those cars are popular. Really, it's not my fault. Perhaps, we could talk to the manager about having more than two car shopping carts on the premises. 

11. I wouldn’t let you have another cookie.

Those things are really good but mommy doesn’t want you to have any more sugar. I’ll make sure to save the rest of the cookies for later or eat them in the closet when you aren’t looking. 

12. You don’t want to ride in your car seat.

Yup, driving a car IS a lot of fun. However, you can’t ride in the front seat because it’s dangerous and I’m pretty sure I would get arrested for letting you. 

13. You want to do it ‘all by myself’

I love to encourage your free spirit and I’m excited you want to be independent. But no, I can't let you put the pasta in the boiling water (all by yourself) because yes, that's dangerous. There are a lot of things that are dangerous. I know, mommy isn't any fun at all.  

14.  You want to draw on your sister's homework.

I'm excited you want to learn but I don't think your sister wants two big lines and a circle on her math homework. Maybe you can help when she brings home some geometry.

15.   I wouldn't give you that.

It may be a steak knife or my wedding ring or my tax return.  I'm sorry but you can't have everything you want. Perhaps you'll understand when you get older.  

Don't be mad. Just remember that I'm doing all these things because I love you! Soon, you'll forget why you're mad at me and go on being your happy self. 

Why is your toddler/child mad at you today?