Wednesday, July 9, 2014

An Open Letter To my Toddler Who Clogged Up my Toilet

Dear sweetheart,

When I told you to go to the potty, I meant to go to the potty.  I didn’t mean you should throw a block and then a bath toy into the toilet bowl.  I know you saw the look of horror on my face as you nonchalantly pressed the flush lever.  But you did it anyways.  

Yes, I know. It’s my fault for thinking you could be left alone for three seconds without getting into trouble. It’s also my fault for allowing a block to be near the toilet. This may come across as harsh but I won’t be purchasing any more small bath toys that can get stuck in a drain. You’re stuck with your giant plastic boat. I’m positive that can’t fit down any drain.  

As of now, the toilet in your bathroom is out of service.  Daddy tried to fix it with some gadget that is supposed to remove things from the toilet drain.  But it didn’t really work.  I really don’t like flushing the toilet, seeing the water come swirling to the surface and then frantically grabbing a plunger while praying the water doesn’t overflow.   I’m wondering how much it’s going to cost to fix.  I’ll make sure to put it on your child rearing tab….not that I’m keeping track or anything.

So what does this mean for you? This means no more peeing in the toilet, and don’t evening think about pooping.  I suppose this is why people have locks on their toilets.  I’m thinking about getting one but I hope it works better than the refrigerator “lock” I purchased.  You ripped that off, in hulk-like fashion, in about five seconds.

Don’t worry, I’m not mad!  Despite the fact that they are home to a bunch of nasty bodily fluids, I understand that toilets are fun. They have water, swirling and a lever, just like your water table. This is why I clean the toilet, a lot.

On that fateful day, I’m also pretty sure you didn’t even use the potty.  Are you holding out for one of those training potties that sings? I used one with your sister so I suppose that’s fair. Perhaps we can buy one that doesn’t work when you pee but randomly goes off in the middle of the night. Oh, the joys of potty training.   

I hope you enjoy sharing one toilet with four other people.  This should be fun.  

Love,

Your mom

What interesting items have your children thrown down the toilet?


Attribution: morguefile.com/creative/xandert


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16 comments :

  1. Every day it's something! Hope your plumber goes easy on you. :)

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  2. Funny. Luckily, my children haven't tried this yet. :)

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  3. Melissa this is so cute. I remember those days.

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  4. Oh no! That makes for a great story though! My daughter recently threw the Tylenol syringe down the toilet thankfully it flushed straight down the toilet.

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    1. Yes, I think the Lego by itself would have been okay but the foam bath toy is the perfect size for clogging. Thanks for reading Adele.

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  5. The stories you'll be able to tell to future boyfriends/girlfriends. Good thing you have a written account! ;)

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    1. Definitely! I have plenty of good stories already.

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  6. My son just learned how to flush the toilet. I can only imagine what he has in store for us. Which sucks because we only have one bathroom.

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  7. Oh no! I hope it isn't too expensive to fix :).

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    1. Right now, it's just out of order. I'm scared to call the plumber.

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  8. I don't enjoy whole, new toilet rolls heading in there. They sort of need to be in the bathroom so I can't hide them away but they are very, um, soak-upable.

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    1. I don't like that either Lisa. At my house, I'm like the toilet paper police. I'll only give my son a few pieces at a time. He's tried to throw the entire roll in too many times.

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