For the New Mom

I became a mother for the first time, just a few days before Mother’s Day.  It has been almost three and a half years since I’ve had a newborn.  However, when I see a mom with a new baby, it all comes rushing back to me.This is for the new mom:

I see you, you with your little bundle and heavy eyelids.

You’re tired, your stitches are sore, and you feel….. different.   

The last few days have been like nothing you’ve ever experienced.

You brought life into the world. Sweet chubby cheeks, tiny toes, soft skin, all of it. The baby smell, both good and bad, has permeated your household. 

I know last night you probably almost nodded off while feeding your precious babe.  

As you sit in the bed, your chair, your couch, in the violet shadows of morning, you might think this baby thing is the best thing and the hardest thing in the world.  You might wonder how you could love anything else more. 

Or you might have different feelings. You might feel overwhelmed, like you could collapse from exhaustion. You might feel blue.  You might even want to cry. 

Or you might feel a mixture of both.  Motherhood, after all, is a roller coaster of emotions.

Some days may bleed together, as if there wasn’t a start or an end. Changing, feeding, sleeping, repeat. There might be days when you have to make a choice between sleeping or showering. 

But, some days may be amazing. The silver lining in a dark sky.  First giggles, first smiles. Fingers grabbing, feet kicking, mouth blowing raspberries.  Everyday, you’re making memories to put in your little one’s baby book, to share with your friends and family, or to stash away in your heart.

And, when you’re feeling like you’re not good enough, not mom enough, or not doing enough, remember this:

Remember this too:

Moms, you’re amazing. Not perfect, because no one is, but amazing. Tweet it: http://ctt.ec/ie6k5

Between the midnight feedings, rapid-fire of unsolicited parenting advice from others, and piles of laundry, it may be hard to catch your breath. But when you do, breathe in their loveliness. Soak in their wide-eyed wonder. 

Welcome to the journey of motherhood. Enjoy the ride. 

What words of encouragement do you have for new moms?

5 Nice Things to Say to a New Mom

Recently, I said goodbye to the baby years.  However, those precious baby memories, are still fresh in my mind.  

I remember having my first child and how it completely changed my life. As a parent, each day is filled with joy, surprises and, often, exhaustion. Moms, especially new moms, can feel unattractive and fatigued. For some, there is pressure to be the perfect mom. Sometimes, people can make comments to moms that are thoughtless, intrusive or downright rude. We often hear about comments we shouldn't say to a new mother. However, here are some nice things you can say to a new mom.

You look great!

I'm sure there is a small percentage of women whose uterus shrinks back to normal a week after having a baby. However, for most of us, that isn't the case. It can be hard to still look pregnant after already having a baby. While you shouldn't lie to a new mom, you can point out the positive. You could mention that a mom's skin looks luminous (from all those prenatal vitamins). Of course, if a mom has lost the baby weight make sure to take notice.

Do you need anything?

I was thinking back to the days before I had children. Although I had a full-time job, most days I had time to work out, watch TV and eat dinner at a leisurely pace. Now, with two children, life is very hectic. When you have a brand new baby, it's hard for a new mom to find time to take a shower or clean the house. Stopping by (not uninvited) with some dinner or a package of diapers can make any new parent less frazzled. Your friend may not take you up on your offer but at least you extended the invitation.

I'm here for you.

Simply letting a mom know that you are there to listen or talk is helpful. Sometimes, new mothers feel emotional. For this reason, listen without trying to judge or belittle a person's experience.

What a __________ baby!

It's easy to find something nice to say about a baby. Those innocent eyes, sweet smile and tiny toes are just a miracle. What a beautiful baby! Your baby is so alert! Most parents don't tire from hearing compliments about their children.

You're a good mom!

There is no such thing as a perfect mom. However, most people I know try their hardest to be good parents. Even if I have a different parenting philosophy than some of my mom friends, I can appreciate their "super mommy" powers.

Don't make any of these comments unless they are genuine. And, if you can't think of something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

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